Happiness

Happiness

My happiness is second-rate

So cheap

I pawn it off for a bag of thorns

That I can use as a pillow

Or a slant of sadness

That descends from dusk

Like the rain I listen to as a lullaby

To fall asleep

My happiness is second-rate

I sell it for a used glove

Too big on me

Too big to warm me

On a winter night

Stripped of all

Snow and

All song

Or a dreidel

That spins less often

Than it falls

My happiness is a gamble

A vestige from a once-god

Who resigned her duties

From the mere

Ravages

Of a silent heartbreak

But I am stitching it

Like a grandmother does the

Broken seams

And the little dreams

Of a little child

Looking lightly

Upon her eyes

From her lap

With the happiness

Of a single clap

A snap

A nap

The happiness

Of nectar

And of tree sap

Dripping

Lapping

Tapping

Sapping

Happiness

My happiness

Is second rate

A failing heartbeat

Pronounced already by fate

But I will keep it

I think

I will keep my happiness

For a while

And trade it one day

Only for laughter

Or at least one day

For a smile